Truly the eye of the Lord is on those who fear him,
on those who hope in his steadfast love Psalm 33:18
It was Psalm 32 that God gave me when I was 14 years old, but it was Psalm 33 that expresses exactly what happened the night I read Psalm 32.
I started to go to Sunday School at a Presbyterian church, invited and taken by my friend and neighbour Mark Findley and his family – I was ten years old. Two years later we moved and started to attend the closest church to our home, a Missionary church. At twelve I knew something was missing and was just not sure what it was. I knew though that I wanted God to be a very special part of my life. At that time God was just beginning to be a resurrected interest in the life of my parents.
I started praying every night that God would take my life and use it and of course I wanted to know how He was going to use it so that I might prepare myself. For two years He did not respond.
At fourteen, I remember that I had enough – praying every night and no response? I fell across by bed and said to myself that there must not be a God and a split second later I remember telling myself, who was I kidding – He was real. So I prayed what I thought would be my last prayer and asked God to show me what He wanted to tell me.
I picked up my Bible, opened it with my eyes closed, took my finger and landed on Psalm 32:8. Could not have been more personal, could not have been more real, could not have been more perfectly timed – God had spoken.
Hope filled my soul – peace filled my heart – joy was deep and resident — this verse sustained me in years of hell. They were my anchor through the storms and in fact, may I dare say, they turned those years into moments of blessing because I always knew His eye was on me, guiding me, and loving me.
Could not have asked for more. Today, those memories of hell are not remembered with ill-will. They are remembered for so many teaching moments, so many moments when God’s love consumed by body and took me out of my hell for moments of incredible experiences with Him. I am today who I am because He instructed me, He taught me and He counselled me – and I put my hope completely in Him and Him alone.
I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. – Psalm 32:8